Please Be Aware: These steps are not substitutes for joining a group.
Think of the following steps as first aid. First aid is temporary help until complete treatment is available. Likewise, these steps are provisional until you can join a Dropping the Stones group. It is the group program that is clinically proven to give freedom from sexual addictions or unwanted sexual behaviors, not steps. Nonetheless, these steps can help you get a jump start on recovery while you wait for your group's start date. Please do not allow these steps to prevent you from joining a Dropping the Stones support group
Remove the Cause
Commit to the process by eliminating pornographic access outlets from your reach. For instance, consider loading accountability software onto your phone, computer, and other digital devices or restricting access to computers in general areas of temptation in your home. In reality, this step can be painful because it often means removing yourself from an unhealthy friendship with someone who is a bad influence. That is to say, severing a relationship with someone who trivializes the deviance of pornography or someone who advocates living an impure lifestyle.
Know Your Slippery Slopes
You know your weak spots where temptation wins — fight back by eliminating the weakest links. First, take an inventory of the areas in your life that usually lead to you viewing pornography. These slippery slopes help give you the keys to why you utilize pornography. For example, if you know being home alone will lead you to watch porn on one of your devices, plan an outing with a trusted friend, or maybe go to a coffee shop in public. Sometimes prevention is your best defense, and knowing your slippery slopes is a powerful tool. So, what are your slippery slopes? Stress, anxiety, feeling a loss of control, boredom, dissatisfaction, etc.? Indeed, it’s much easier to dodge the slippery slopes that lead to relapse than to avoid the relapse once you find yourself backsliding.
David's Friend
Freedom and healing are most facilitated within trusted relationships. King David from Israel had a friend who compassionately held him accountable — his name was Nathan. Find a friend who understands your battle and who is willing to speak truth in kindness during your recovery. A friend who is willing to walk alongside you through the slippery slopes, the stumbles, and the victories! An accountability app such as Covenant Eyes is a great place to start. Click here to learn more about Covenant Eyes, and to get started today.
Avoid the Valleys
Valleys are part of the process in recovery. There will be days that you feel like you have defeated your addiction and that you are on top of the mountain, but be watchful for the valley. That is, the very next day you may feel low, defeated, and unable to resist temptation. To be sure, you will experience a stumble or two — but if you continue to stumble forward, you’ll find freedom. Begin learning now, to forgive yourself in the mishaps. Slips usually happen immediately after a peak in recovery — when it’s least expected. Armor yourself to avoid the valleys with humility, self-forgiveness, and strong relationships.
Tip: Creating new healthy behaviors in your life can actually extinguish old unhealthy behaviors.